Investment opportunity?…

Email is great.  Spam filters are super great.  Yesterday, I actually looked in my spam folder, looking for an email I should have gotten.  It was there.  After marking it “not spam”, I glanced at everything else.  I don’t get too much spam because I worked hard to keep my email address from family members who send forwards (and I maintain that I never got one until I got a forward from my grandma).  So now, like everyone else, I get a lot of offers to increase my manhood and stamina.  I also had a bunch of spam from a crappy dating site where someone created a false account with my email.  Luckily, I was able to get the password and delete it (but not until after 48 hours–lame).  However, yesterday was different, because hidden between emails for Viagra knock-offs was this little gem:

Attn,

Forgive my indignation if this message comes to you as a surprise and if it might offend you without your prior consent and writing through this channel.

I am Mr Felix Bode,The Chairman, Contract Awarding committee of the ECONOMIC COMMUNITY OF WEST AFRICAN STATES ( ECOWAS)with Headquarters in Lome, Togo.

I got your contact through Network on line in my search for a reliable and reputable person to handle a very confidential transaction that involves a transfer of fund to a foreign account and I decided to write you.

After discussing my view and your profile with my colleagues,they were very much satisfied and decided to contact you immediately for this mutual business relationship.We wish to transfer the sum of USD16m (Sixteen Million United States Dollars only.)into your personal or company`s bank account.

This fund was a residue of the over invoiced contract bills awarded by us for the supply of hard/softwares,phamaceauticals/medical items,light and heavy duty vehicles, apperals and other administrative logistics etc for the ECOMOG in Sierria-Leone and Liberia during the Peace Keeping  Projects.

This DEAL was deliberately hatched out and carefully protected with all the attendant lope holes sealed off.As the Chairman of CAC,I have the cooperation and mandate of the Financial Director and the Secretary of the Organisation.We arranged and over invoiced the contract funds supplied by different companies from different countries during the crisis.

It was our consensus to seek the assistance of a willing foreigner to provide us with the facilities to transfer this money out of West Africa.This is borne out of our beleif in the non-stable and sporous political nature of this sub-region.

The original contractors have been duely paid by the Banque Centrale Des Etats De L`Afrique De L`Ouest (Central Bank of the West African States)through our bankers-INTERNATIONAL BANK OF AFRICA(IBA)UNION TOGOLAISE DE BANQUE(UTB),ECO BANK,BTCI BANK LOME TOGO.

This balance is suspended in the escrow accounts awaiting claims by  any foreign company of our choice.We intend to pay out this fund now as the organisation is winding up its  activities since the aim of returning PEACE to the countries and the coast has been achieved.

Based on the laws and ethics of employment,we as civil servants working under this organisation, are not allowed to operate a foreign account.

This is the more reason why we needed your assistance to provide an account that can sustain this fund for safe keeping and our future investment with your comprehensive advise,assistance and partnership in your country.

It is however agreed,as the account owner in this deal to allow you 30% of the entire sum as compensation, 65% will be held on trust for us while 5% will be usedto defray any incidental charges and cost during the course of the transaction.

This transaction will be successfully concluded within 14 days if you accord us your unalloyed and due cooperation.You should provide the followings;

YOUR COMPANY`S NAME WITH COMPLETE ADDRESS,
TELEPHONE AND FAX NUMBERS.(if available)
THE NAME OF YOUR BANK,ITS ADDRESS WITH TEL,FAX  AND YOUR
ACCOUNT NUMBER, THE COMPLETE MAILING ADRRESS OF THE  BENEFICIARY  WITH TELEPHONE AND FAX NUMBERS.

Upon the receipt of this informations,i will forward them to the organisation for ratification and subsequent payment.

As with the case of all organised (sensitive)and conspired DEALS,we solicit for your unreserved confidentiality and utmost secret in this business. We hope to retire peacefully and leave a honourable business life afterwards.There are no risks involved.

You can reach me through my private phone +228-8522437 for more details.

Thanks while i look forward to your positive reply.Please reply back to me on my private email id if you are interested   felixbode700@yahoo.com.hk

With regards.
Mr Felix Bode

Sounds legit to me, right?  He says there’s “no risks involved”.  I’m sold!  I mean, there’s even a number in Togo, but an email address for Hong Kong….

Wait a minute! I think this email might not be from the chairman of anything.  (Ok, obviously I know it’s a big ol’ scam, but I got a kick out of this one.  The fact that it has probably scammed some people is just plain sad.  They did find me through “Network”…whatever that means.  But because this was a “conspired deal”, I think I forfeited any chance I had by not being confidential or secret enough.  Oops.

Currently listening to: “Bum ba dum” by Fisher-Price® Luv U Zoo™ SpaceSaver Swing & Seat

One thought on “Investment opportunity?…

  1. Can’t decide which is more awesome … the fact that you saved this for us (me) to enjoy later, or the fact that you so accurately attributed what you were listening to.

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