Tag Archives: church

From the spiritually uplifting to the head-shake provoking. The Church is true, but those members sure are funny.

Too late to sit for three hours…

When you look at a clock on Sunday and it reads 4:00 pm, you should be at home. You should be wearing your sweatpants and excitedly waiting for dinner to get out of the oven in an hour.

Instead, we look at the clock every Sunday at 4:00 pm and think, “Just forty more minutes. I’m starving.” And for half an hour we listen to four talks with exactly the same theme. Usually very good talks, but it is hard to pay attention when you want to be taking your Sunday afternoon nap.

Going to church gets harder when your meetings are so late and the last hour is sacrament meeting. Sometimes I try and convince Chip to start crying and fussing at 4 so that we can go home early, pour me a Diet Coke, and put some food in my belly. However, he is a good boy and makes it through the block every week.

All I am trying to say is that there is a time and a season for all things, and 1:40-4:40 is not the time for church. That’s nap time.

Currently listening to: “I Have Work Enough To Do” by Josephine Pollard and William J. Kirkpatrick

Callings…

Today, Sav and I were sustained as “primary workers”.

Translation: nursery.

Last week, were excited by our new calling.  This week we found out what it entailed: babysitting other people’s 2-year-olds.  Not the easiest two hours of my life, but at least they go by fast.  Three of the kids are angels.  Two of the kids are pills.  The other three are somewhere in-between.

Next week it’s just Sav and I.  Wish us luck.  I think I’ll start wearing machine-washable pants.

Currently listening to: “The Poison” by The All-American Rejects

On locking doors…

Yesterday, I learned a great deal.  Let me share this newly acquired knowledge with you.

First, I learned that when sharing a quote in sacrament meeting, your options are wide open.  Three talks: three quotes.  Our first talk was talking about helping those in times of trial or need, and he shared this quote: “I may not be able to carry the ring, but I can carry you.”  Yes my friends, that’s a line from Lord of the Rings.  The next speaker misquoted Dumbledore, crediting Harry Potter instead.  (And as we all should know, Harry never has a single moment of insightfulness in any of the 7 books.)  Third speaker in church took the award for most questionable quote: “Fate seldom calls upon us in a moment of our choosing.”  I really didn’t know you could cite Optimus Prime from the pulpit.

Second lesson learned: if you’re making out with your girlfriend in her kitchen, you should lock the door.  (This reminds me of a previous post.)  Otherwise, someone you think is the General Relief Society President might walk in and catch you, and you might end up having awkward conversation with her husband.

The third thing that I learned: my girlfriend doesn’t embarrass.  She’s pretty much the coolest girl ever, and I’m not just saying that because she’s the only one who reads my blog. 🙂  But it’s safe to say that my girlfriend is cooler than your girlfriend.

So can nobody say that I don’t learn stuff on Sunday.

Currently listening to:  You and Me by Plain White T’s